begin
2: that kiss
word count: 3,249
cw//angst, profanity |
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"Ok, seriously, I can't take this shit anymore, Jungkook. What the fuck is up?" You asked in the midst of an epic gaming battle, where you'd won every game you played…a complete impossibility. "What?" Jungkook laughed, unsure what to do, obviously his mind was still being wrecked by the incident a few days prior. "Bruh," you stood up in front of him with your hands on your hips, "you've totally been avoiding me the last few days and now we're hanging out and I just happen to win every game we play. That never fucking happens, JK. What's up? For real, this is kinda freaking me out." "I'm not avoiding you," he wasn't trying to avoid you, but it was the only way he could assure he wouldn't be aroused. He needed time to figure things out and being instantly hard in your presence was not aiding in the ‘figuring out’.
"It's just kinda tough thinking about them not being 'home', I guess I'm more avoiding talking about that," he wasn't completely lying, he had been thinking about how different it would be with your brothers gone and how the two of you would carry on…in addition to how the two of you would literally fit together, him inside of you...his mind started to slip back into the gutter and he spoke more to be in the present, "it's going to be weird. We do a lot of stuff together, the four of us, you know. It's going to be different, don't you think?" You breathed an internal sigh of relief, thinking, 'oh thank God it's just this'. "Well, yeah, but they aren't here right now and we're hanging out. I mean we’re still going to be friends, even if our brothers aren't around," you chuckled, "plus, it'll be fun when they come home to visit or we visit them, you know? You just gotta think about that. But, wait…what? Were you thinking about not hanging out anymore?"
"No, no, of course not," Jungkook slid into damage control, "I just…well, you know you have like a million friends. I just didn't want to think we were going to keep on doing us if you were thinking we weren't." "Ummm, oh-kay, why would you think that? We've literally never talked about that. What do my other friends have to do with us? I'm…what's happening?" The thought of things not remaining as they were had not even crossed your mind. You just figured it would be the same as it always was, it worked, it made you happy, it made sense…what he was saying wasn't making sense. "Nothing, stop, stop," Jungkook could see that what he was saying, especially since it was just words to keep his dick from popping out of his pants, could be misinterpreted. He took the risk to stand up and hug you, just to reassure you that nothing was going to change, and as he held you against his body, he felt…different. Something, he'd maybe never allowed in…possibility, with you. Love? Maybe?
He was successfully keeping his lower head in check but the one on top was flooding with feelings. Overwhelming feelings. Feelings that had to be acted on. Before he could even gather reality, he was pushing his lips on your lips, catching you completely off guard. But…you kissed him back, a blanket of disbelief covered you and you thought to yourself, 'what the hell? Why is he kissing me? I mean, it's amazing…damn, way better than I imagined it would be when we were younger. Oh my god, what the fuck?' Before you could plant yourself back on the ground from the cloud floating you'd just done, you saw the look in his eyes, the one that told you first what he then said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I'm so, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry."
You stood in place as if his kiss had glued you to the spot, unable to move, but your mind tortured you, racing with all kinds of thoughts. The only thing you could say aloud was a quiet whisper of, "what the fuck?"
–
"FUCK!" Jungkook ran into the house and threw himself on his bed, inwardly berating himself. "Bro,” Joon stepped into JK’s room and took a seat on the bed next to him, "what's up? Mom just got home. You can't just curse like that." "Ugh," Jungkook groaned, turning over onto his back, "did she hear me?" "No. I don't think so, she was talking to dad about dinner. But regardless of that…what's up? Why are you so upset?" Joon asked, sitting patiently, ready to listen to anything he had to say.
Jungkook put his hands over his face, shaking his head, "I'm an idiot." "What? No you're not, I'm sure it's not that big a deal. What happened?" Joon's big heart was so comforting to his little brother. "I kissed her," Jungkook admitted, "...and she kissed me back…and I ran out like a little bitch". "Oh my goodness, why did you leave?" Namjoon placed his hand on Jungkook's arm, offering comfort. "Honestly," Jungkook peeked out from behind his hands for a moment, "it was so good that I couldn't handle it. I was like what the fuck have I been fucking around about. She's been here this whole time." "I know you're having a hard time, so I'm not going to say anything about my thoughts, even though I knew that this was going to happen, but why do you think this is happening now?” Namjoon teased only slightly, but wanted to help Jungkook figure things out. As much as he and Jin called it, he didn’t like seeing Jungkook in such disarray.
“I don’t know,” Jungkook answered honestly, “that whole thing took me completely by surprise. That’s never happened to me, not just with her, but with anyone. I know I’m feeling more melancholy because of the transition with you and Jin going to school, but what does that matter? I’m so confused.” “Well, I think all of us are more emotional. She is pretty good at dealing with her emotions and keeping them mostly to herself, well at least I’ve never seen her emotional. She tends to be positive about everything, right?” Namjoon was having a difficult time navigating the angst that entered the situation. “Yeah, that’s one of the most annoying things about her,” Jungkook chuckled, “but also what we all need.” “Yeah,” Namjoon nodded, “that’s absolutely true. Well, then let’s just get it out there, do you want to date her?” “I don’t know, maybe, I’ve not really thought about her like that before,” he admitted, shrugging, “I mean, it’s not like I don’t see that she is amazing, but we’ve always been friends, so I just didn't go there. I don’t want to cross that line if she isn’t interested, you know? I like things the way they are, so to open up that box would be pretty terrifying.”
“Terrifying? Or exhilarating?” Namjoon tilted his head, giving Jungkook some food for thought. “Umm, for sure, terrifying,” JK shook his head. “Is she a good kisser?” Namjoon asked, moving JK further forward. “Joon, what the fuck?” Jungkook turned over and buried his head in his pillow. “Oh, really, that good huh?” Joon laughed, “stop being stupid and ask her out or at least fucking man up and talk to her about all this stupid shit. You like her. So what? It’s pretty much been pre-destined to happen since they moved in, wouldn’t you say. Besides, it’s not like she never had a crush on you.” “What?” Jungkook’s attention peaked and he turned to face Namjoon, “what do you mean? She’s never had one…not on me.” Namjoon burst out laughing, “you are so cute Jungkookie, as if you don’t remember how in love she was with you when you were little. She had it bad for you. That’s partially why you always hang out now. Why do you think she was always tagging along with Jin? Obviously to see you. Oh my god, you are so ridiculous, and so innocent…you really didn’t know, did you?” “No,” Jungkook pouted, shaking his head, overwhelmed with realizations seemingly slamming into him all at once. “Talk to her,” Namjoon suggested, “believe me, as someone in a position that is rapidly changing, you don’t want to leave things unsaid.” Jungkook nodded, watching Namjoon get up and leave his room, his words again repeating in his mind, ‘talk to her’.
--
“What? What do you mean?” You had tears in your eyes, in shock, as you and Jin sat across from your parents. “You know that your father has been traveling a lot for work,” your mom started to explain, “well, they’ve created a more steady position for him in America. We’re moving at the end of the month.” “That isn’t fair,” you whined, “Jin got to finish school with all of his friends and his best friend. I don’t want to go to a new school, a new country, no, this is absolutely unfair. I’m not going.” You ran up to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, while you cried on your bed. You could only really think about the kiss you’d had with Jungkook. The kiss that awakened those feelings that you had buried deep down for him. So easily, they'd risen to the top of mind. You felt excited, maybe too quickly excited, especially since he ‘didn’t mean to’ kiss you. But, regardless, the feelings were definitely there. And now what? You were just going to move? “UGH!” you shouted extra loud, wanting to make it clear to your parents that you were not happy with the decision.
“Oh my goodness,” Jin shook his head, “how long do you think this tantrum will last?” “Hopefully, not long,” your father added, “I don’t like it when she’s upset.” “Yeah, none of us do, dear,” your mom stood up to start a new list of things to take care of for the move. “I’ll go talk to her,” Jin stood up, “she’ll be fine.” “Thank you, son,” your mom said appreciatively, “honey, I’ll need your help with deciding what we are…” Your mom’s words faded into the background as Jin headed upstairs to your bedroom. Jin was the best big brother, he could be annoying as fuck, especially when he was teasing you, but…he was always in your corner, always the one you could trust with anything. And he was always there when you needed him to make things easier.
<knock, knock>
You turned to the soft knock on your door, knowing it was Jin, smiling when he quietly opened the door and asked, “can I come in?” “You’re already in,” you laughed, “so, yeah I suppose so.” Jin laughed and pushed you, as he sat on your bed, “whatever, don’t be a brat. Are you ok?” “I will be,” you sat up, wiping the tears from your cheeks, “it just sucks.” “Yeah, I’m not going to even pretend like it doesn’t. What you said is true, I’m sorry that you won’t have your friends around. I know how important they are to you.” “Yeah,” you stood up and walked to your window, looking out at Jungkook’s house, “it just won’t be the same.” “No, it won’t,” he continued to empathize with you, hesitating moving into ‘but it could be really awesome’, allowing you to feel how you felt.
“I…” you started, thinking only about having to be away from Jungkook, but you stopped unwilling to deal with it at that moment. “What’s up?” Jin knew you completely, sometimes better than you knew yourself, he was picking up that there was more to your sadness than the obvious. “Nothing,” you walked back to your bed and plopped down. Jin started laughing, “that means it is definitely something.” “I don’t want to talk about it,” you wanted to talk about it, but you also wanted to keep what would be Jin’s incessant teasing at bay…at least for a while. “Yes, you do,” Jin teased, pointing at the look on your face, “you know you want to tell me.” “No, I actually know that I do NOT want to tell you,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest as you looked up at the ceiling, pouting. “Oh, dang, that means that it is really juicy,” he goaded, laying down next to you, placing his face right in front of yours, “tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me…” “Stop, no,” you turned away from him, giggling, “I’m not telling you, I don’t care how annoying you are. I’m not telling you.”
“You’re going to tell me, sister,” he taunted, “so it’s up to you, are you going to tell me the hard way or the easy way?” You debated quickly, wondering what the hard way would be this time, “I really don’t want to tell you, it’s embarrassing and you’re just going to make fun of me.” He chuckled, “I promise I won’t make fun of you…out loud.” “Jiiiinnnn,” you whined, throwing one of your plushies at him. “Fine, fine,” he hugged you, “just tell me. I’ll be a good big brother. I promise.” “Seriously?” you turned to look at him, scanning his face for potential ‘fingers crossed’ thoughts. He held his pinky up to you, the only way he could convince you that he wouldn’t break his promise, “pinky promise.” You locked your pinky with his, a big grateful smile on your face, “pinky promise.” You hugged him, “thank you big brother.” “Ok, so come on, I can’t take it any longer, tell me what’s up,” he was practically begging.
“Jungkook, kissed me.”
--
"What do you mean?" Jungkook asked Namjoon to repeat what he'd just said. "They are moving," Namjoon's heart hurt, knowing that Jungkook was on the verge of going for it with you. "When?" JK asked, finding it hard to hear anything over the sound of his heart thumping against his rib cage. "End of the month," Joon searched for words that could make him feel comforted, but he had nothing, what could he say?
"Wow," JK slumped into the chair in their living room, "how is she?" "Jin said she was pissed, she's been crying," Joon gave it to him straight. "Did she…" Jungkook wanted to ask about what it meant for him, but he stopped, knowing he probably should start getting you out of his head…and heart. His mind raced with thoughts to help, 'nothing ever happened, no harm no foul'. But, no matter what he thought about, he knew that the feelings in his heart that had all of a sudden flooded within him, would go unanswered…unexplored. "Is she up for visitors?" Jungkook asked, he was still your friend, despite the kiss…he still wanted to make sure you were ok.
"I don't know," Joon shrugged, "Jin said she was pretty much non-stop with the crying. Isn't that strange, we were just talking about how together she's always been with her emotions." "She probably just keeps cool around us," he giggled, "she's always had to compete with all of the testosterone around her." 'Damn', he thought, 'I'm soft as fuck for her. This fucking sucks!' "I'm gonna text her," Jungkook pulled out his phone and started a message, but suddenly he forgot how to talk to you. "You ok?" Namjoon noticed, watching as JK stared at his phone. "Yeah," Jungkook nodded, but remained paused. "Just tell her you're here for her if she needs you," Joon suggested. "Yeah, I guess that's good," Jungkook started to type, "thanks, bro." Namjoon nodded and stood up, hearing Jin's knock on the door, but before he left the room he made sure to check on JK, "are you ok, bro?" Jungkook shrugged and nodded with a pout, "I will be." Namjoon patted him on the shoulder and left him to his thoughts.
[JK]: my brother told me the news
[JK]: totally sucks, I'm here if u need me
[You]: thank u
[You]: can u come over?
Jungkook stared at his phone, his heart seemed to be beating in triple time, and he felt shaky as he typed his response.
[JK]: brt
[You]: 😊
-
Within a few minutes, he was knocking on your bedroom door, "it's Jungkook." "Come in," you wiped the tears from your cheeks and tried to empty them from your eyes, as you sat up on your bed. "Hey," he spoke softly, still feeling bad about running out after the kiss, and now…with the upcoming move out of the country, he felt all around terrible. "Hey," you smiled, trying to collect your emotions. Your head swirled with questions about the kiss, did it mean anything to him? Did you mean something to him? But, how would you even ask? Is something going to happen? What about the fact that you're leaving? What are we gonna do?
You patted the bed next to you and he sat down, pulling you into his arms for a tight hug, whispering, "I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," you patted his thigh, as he held you under his arm, "it just hard core fucking sucks!" You both chuckled and he took in a deep breath, everything about you seemed different, as if you'd been in monochrome, but now you were in vibrant colors. He took in the scent of your hair, the feel of your body, the sound of your breathing…he didn't even realize he'd started crying, until you held your hand up to see that he'd shed a tear on it. "Are you crying?" You asked, whole heartedly gushing inside, but on the outside…you'd never let him get away with it and you started to giggle.
"No," he quickly wiped his tears away, "it's your perfume, it's making my eyes water." You fell back laughing, "whatever, you're crying, I don't even have perfume on…loser!" "Whatever," he shook his head, shrugging, "I'm not, you wish." "Bahahaha," you continued to laugh, "yeah, oh-kay. Are you gonna miss me Jungkookie?" "Not at all," he chuckled, falling back on the bed next to you, "I'm so grateful to be getting rid of your annoying ass." "What?" You pouted and pretended like you were starting to cry, burying your head in your pillow. "Oh, no, stop," he rubbed your back as he leaned over you, "I was just joking. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Of course, I'm going to miss you. I'm sorry." You started laughing, pulling your head up and pointing at him, teasing, "oh my god, you've gone completely soft." "That is so mean," he stood up, hiding his face and you instantly moved into damage control, running after him. "No, no, I'm sorry," you wrapped your arms around his waist as he reached your bedroom door, "I'm just joking, I'm going to miss you most." He turned around and laughed, "and you're saying I'm soft."
"You bastard," you slugged him, before your eyes met, no words actually stated, but the meaning and importance was obvious. Both of you were thinking about the 'could have been', but instead of staying there, Jungkook made sure you knew…he meant it. He placed one hand against your cheek and the other on the back of your neck, pulling you close, and kissing you again. This time, he didn't stop, he didn't pull away, he didn't take it back. With that kiss, he let you know, you were everything.
"It's just kinda tough thinking about them not being 'home', I guess I'm more avoiding talking about that," he wasn't completely lying, he had been thinking about how different it would be with your brothers gone and how the two of you would carry on…in addition to how the two of you would literally fit together, him inside of you...his mind started to slip back into the gutter and he spoke more to be in the present, "it's going to be weird. We do a lot of stuff together, the four of us, you know. It's going to be different, don't you think?" You breathed an internal sigh of relief, thinking, 'oh thank God it's just this'. "Well, yeah, but they aren't here right now and we're hanging out. I mean we’re still going to be friends, even if our brothers aren't around," you chuckled, "plus, it'll be fun when they come home to visit or we visit them, you know? You just gotta think about that. But, wait…what? Were you thinking about not hanging out anymore?"
"No, no, of course not," Jungkook slid into damage control, "I just…well, you know you have like a million friends. I just didn't want to think we were going to keep on doing us if you were thinking we weren't." "Ummm, oh-kay, why would you think that? We've literally never talked about that. What do my other friends have to do with us? I'm…what's happening?" The thought of things not remaining as they were had not even crossed your mind. You just figured it would be the same as it always was, it worked, it made you happy, it made sense…what he was saying wasn't making sense. "Nothing, stop, stop," Jungkook could see that what he was saying, especially since it was just words to keep his dick from popping out of his pants, could be misinterpreted. He took the risk to stand up and hug you, just to reassure you that nothing was going to change, and as he held you against his body, he felt…different. Something, he'd maybe never allowed in…possibility, with you. Love? Maybe?
He was successfully keeping his lower head in check but the one on top was flooding with feelings. Overwhelming feelings. Feelings that had to be acted on. Before he could even gather reality, he was pushing his lips on your lips, catching you completely off guard. But…you kissed him back, a blanket of disbelief covered you and you thought to yourself, 'what the hell? Why is he kissing me? I mean, it's amazing…damn, way better than I imagined it would be when we were younger. Oh my god, what the fuck?' Before you could plant yourself back on the ground from the cloud floating you'd just done, you saw the look in his eyes, the one that told you first what he then said, "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…I'm so, I'm gonna go. I'm sorry."
You stood in place as if his kiss had glued you to the spot, unable to move, but your mind tortured you, racing with all kinds of thoughts. The only thing you could say aloud was a quiet whisper of, "what the fuck?"
–
"FUCK!" Jungkook ran into the house and threw himself on his bed, inwardly berating himself. "Bro,” Joon stepped into JK’s room and took a seat on the bed next to him, "what's up? Mom just got home. You can't just curse like that." "Ugh," Jungkook groaned, turning over onto his back, "did she hear me?" "No. I don't think so, she was talking to dad about dinner. But regardless of that…what's up? Why are you so upset?" Joon asked, sitting patiently, ready to listen to anything he had to say.
Jungkook put his hands over his face, shaking his head, "I'm an idiot." "What? No you're not, I'm sure it's not that big a deal. What happened?" Joon's big heart was so comforting to his little brother. "I kissed her," Jungkook admitted, "...and she kissed me back…and I ran out like a little bitch". "Oh my goodness, why did you leave?" Namjoon placed his hand on Jungkook's arm, offering comfort. "Honestly," Jungkook peeked out from behind his hands for a moment, "it was so good that I couldn't handle it. I was like what the fuck have I been fucking around about. She's been here this whole time." "I know you're having a hard time, so I'm not going to say anything about my thoughts, even though I knew that this was going to happen, but why do you think this is happening now?” Namjoon teased only slightly, but wanted to help Jungkook figure things out. As much as he and Jin called it, he didn’t like seeing Jungkook in such disarray.
“I don’t know,” Jungkook answered honestly, “that whole thing took me completely by surprise. That’s never happened to me, not just with her, but with anyone. I know I’m feeling more melancholy because of the transition with you and Jin going to school, but what does that matter? I’m so confused.” “Well, I think all of us are more emotional. She is pretty good at dealing with her emotions and keeping them mostly to herself, well at least I’ve never seen her emotional. She tends to be positive about everything, right?” Namjoon was having a difficult time navigating the angst that entered the situation. “Yeah, that’s one of the most annoying things about her,” Jungkook chuckled, “but also what we all need.” “Yeah,” Namjoon nodded, “that’s absolutely true. Well, then let’s just get it out there, do you want to date her?” “I don’t know, maybe, I’ve not really thought about her like that before,” he admitted, shrugging, “I mean, it’s not like I don’t see that she is amazing, but we’ve always been friends, so I just didn't go there. I don’t want to cross that line if she isn’t interested, you know? I like things the way they are, so to open up that box would be pretty terrifying.”
“Terrifying? Or exhilarating?” Namjoon tilted his head, giving Jungkook some food for thought. “Umm, for sure, terrifying,” JK shook his head. “Is she a good kisser?” Namjoon asked, moving JK further forward. “Joon, what the fuck?” Jungkook turned over and buried his head in his pillow. “Oh, really, that good huh?” Joon laughed, “stop being stupid and ask her out or at least fucking man up and talk to her about all this stupid shit. You like her. So what? It’s pretty much been pre-destined to happen since they moved in, wouldn’t you say. Besides, it’s not like she never had a crush on you.” “What?” Jungkook’s attention peaked and he turned to face Namjoon, “what do you mean? She’s never had one…not on me.” Namjoon burst out laughing, “you are so cute Jungkookie, as if you don’t remember how in love she was with you when you were little. She had it bad for you. That’s partially why you always hang out now. Why do you think she was always tagging along with Jin? Obviously to see you. Oh my god, you are so ridiculous, and so innocent…you really didn’t know, did you?” “No,” Jungkook pouted, shaking his head, overwhelmed with realizations seemingly slamming into him all at once. “Talk to her,” Namjoon suggested, “believe me, as someone in a position that is rapidly changing, you don’t want to leave things unsaid.” Jungkook nodded, watching Namjoon get up and leave his room, his words again repeating in his mind, ‘talk to her’.
--
“What? What do you mean?” You had tears in your eyes, in shock, as you and Jin sat across from your parents. “You know that your father has been traveling a lot for work,” your mom started to explain, “well, they’ve created a more steady position for him in America. We’re moving at the end of the month.” “That isn’t fair,” you whined, “Jin got to finish school with all of his friends and his best friend. I don’t want to go to a new school, a new country, no, this is absolutely unfair. I’m not going.” You ran up to your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, while you cried on your bed. You could only really think about the kiss you’d had with Jungkook. The kiss that awakened those feelings that you had buried deep down for him. So easily, they'd risen to the top of mind. You felt excited, maybe too quickly excited, especially since he ‘didn’t mean to’ kiss you. But, regardless, the feelings were definitely there. And now what? You were just going to move? “UGH!” you shouted extra loud, wanting to make it clear to your parents that you were not happy with the decision.
“Oh my goodness,” Jin shook his head, “how long do you think this tantrum will last?” “Hopefully, not long,” your father added, “I don’t like it when she’s upset.” “Yeah, none of us do, dear,” your mom stood up to start a new list of things to take care of for the move. “I’ll go talk to her,” Jin stood up, “she’ll be fine.” “Thank you, son,” your mom said appreciatively, “honey, I’ll need your help with deciding what we are…” Your mom’s words faded into the background as Jin headed upstairs to your bedroom. Jin was the best big brother, he could be annoying as fuck, especially when he was teasing you, but…he was always in your corner, always the one you could trust with anything. And he was always there when you needed him to make things easier.
<knock, knock>
You turned to the soft knock on your door, knowing it was Jin, smiling when he quietly opened the door and asked, “can I come in?” “You’re already in,” you laughed, “so, yeah I suppose so.” Jin laughed and pushed you, as he sat on your bed, “whatever, don’t be a brat. Are you ok?” “I will be,” you sat up, wiping the tears from your cheeks, “it just sucks.” “Yeah, I’m not going to even pretend like it doesn’t. What you said is true, I’m sorry that you won’t have your friends around. I know how important they are to you.” “Yeah,” you stood up and walked to your window, looking out at Jungkook’s house, “it just won’t be the same.” “No, it won’t,” he continued to empathize with you, hesitating moving into ‘but it could be really awesome’, allowing you to feel how you felt.
“I…” you started, thinking only about having to be away from Jungkook, but you stopped unwilling to deal with it at that moment. “What’s up?” Jin knew you completely, sometimes better than you knew yourself, he was picking up that there was more to your sadness than the obvious. “Nothing,” you walked back to your bed and plopped down. Jin started laughing, “that means it is definitely something.” “I don’t want to talk about it,” you wanted to talk about it, but you also wanted to keep what would be Jin’s incessant teasing at bay…at least for a while. “Yes, you do,” Jin teased, pointing at the look on your face, “you know you want to tell me.” “No, I actually know that I do NOT want to tell you,” you crossed your arms in front of your chest as you looked up at the ceiling, pouting. “Oh, dang, that means that it is really juicy,” he goaded, laying down next to you, placing his face right in front of yours, “tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me…” “Stop, no,” you turned away from him, giggling, “I’m not telling you, I don’t care how annoying you are. I’m not telling you.”
“You’re going to tell me, sister,” he taunted, “so it’s up to you, are you going to tell me the hard way or the easy way?” You debated quickly, wondering what the hard way would be this time, “I really don’t want to tell you, it’s embarrassing and you’re just going to make fun of me.” He chuckled, “I promise I won’t make fun of you…out loud.” “Jiiiinnnn,” you whined, throwing one of your plushies at him. “Fine, fine,” he hugged you, “just tell me. I’ll be a good big brother. I promise.” “Seriously?” you turned to look at him, scanning his face for potential ‘fingers crossed’ thoughts. He held his pinky up to you, the only way he could convince you that he wouldn’t break his promise, “pinky promise.” You locked your pinky with his, a big grateful smile on your face, “pinky promise.” You hugged him, “thank you big brother.” “Ok, so come on, I can’t take it any longer, tell me what’s up,” he was practically begging.
“Jungkook, kissed me.”
--
"What do you mean?" Jungkook asked Namjoon to repeat what he'd just said. "They are moving," Namjoon's heart hurt, knowing that Jungkook was on the verge of going for it with you. "When?" JK asked, finding it hard to hear anything over the sound of his heart thumping against his rib cage. "End of the month," Joon searched for words that could make him feel comforted, but he had nothing, what could he say?
"Wow," JK slumped into the chair in their living room, "how is she?" "Jin said she was pissed, she's been crying," Joon gave it to him straight. "Did she…" Jungkook wanted to ask about what it meant for him, but he stopped, knowing he probably should start getting you out of his head…and heart. His mind raced with thoughts to help, 'nothing ever happened, no harm no foul'. But, no matter what he thought about, he knew that the feelings in his heart that had all of a sudden flooded within him, would go unanswered…unexplored. "Is she up for visitors?" Jungkook asked, he was still your friend, despite the kiss…he still wanted to make sure you were ok.
"I don't know," Joon shrugged, "Jin said she was pretty much non-stop with the crying. Isn't that strange, we were just talking about how together she's always been with her emotions." "She probably just keeps cool around us," he giggled, "she's always had to compete with all of the testosterone around her." 'Damn', he thought, 'I'm soft as fuck for her. This fucking sucks!' "I'm gonna text her," Jungkook pulled out his phone and started a message, but suddenly he forgot how to talk to you. "You ok?" Namjoon noticed, watching as JK stared at his phone. "Yeah," Jungkook nodded, but remained paused. "Just tell her you're here for her if she needs you," Joon suggested. "Yeah, I guess that's good," Jungkook started to type, "thanks, bro." Namjoon nodded and stood up, hearing Jin's knock on the door, but before he left the room he made sure to check on JK, "are you ok, bro?" Jungkook shrugged and nodded with a pout, "I will be." Namjoon patted him on the shoulder and left him to his thoughts.
[JK]: my brother told me the news
[JK]: totally sucks, I'm here if u need me
[You]: thank u
[You]: can u come over?
Jungkook stared at his phone, his heart seemed to be beating in triple time, and he felt shaky as he typed his response.
[JK]: brt
[You]: 😊
-
Within a few minutes, he was knocking on your bedroom door, "it's Jungkook." "Come in," you wiped the tears from your cheeks and tried to empty them from your eyes, as you sat up on your bed. "Hey," he spoke softly, still feeling bad about running out after the kiss, and now…with the upcoming move out of the country, he felt all around terrible. "Hey," you smiled, trying to collect your emotions. Your head swirled with questions about the kiss, did it mean anything to him? Did you mean something to him? But, how would you even ask? Is something going to happen? What about the fact that you're leaving? What are we gonna do?
You patted the bed next to you and he sat down, pulling you into his arms for a tight hug, whispering, "I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," you patted his thigh, as he held you under his arm, "it just hard core fucking sucks!" You both chuckled and he took in a deep breath, everything about you seemed different, as if you'd been in monochrome, but now you were in vibrant colors. He took in the scent of your hair, the feel of your body, the sound of your breathing…he didn't even realize he'd started crying, until you held your hand up to see that he'd shed a tear on it. "Are you crying?" You asked, whole heartedly gushing inside, but on the outside…you'd never let him get away with it and you started to giggle.
"No," he quickly wiped his tears away, "it's your perfume, it's making my eyes water." You fell back laughing, "whatever, you're crying, I don't even have perfume on…loser!" "Whatever," he shook his head, shrugging, "I'm not, you wish." "Bahahaha," you continued to laugh, "yeah, oh-kay. Are you gonna miss me Jungkookie?" "Not at all," he chuckled, falling back on the bed next to you, "I'm so grateful to be getting rid of your annoying ass." "What?" You pouted and pretended like you were starting to cry, burying your head in your pillow. "Oh, no, stop," he rubbed your back as he leaned over you, "I was just joking. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Of course, I'm going to miss you. I'm sorry." You started laughing, pulling your head up and pointing at him, teasing, "oh my god, you've gone completely soft." "That is so mean," he stood up, hiding his face and you instantly moved into damage control, running after him. "No, no, I'm sorry," you wrapped your arms around his waist as he reached your bedroom door, "I'm just joking, I'm going to miss you most." He turned around and laughed, "and you're saying I'm soft."
"You bastard," you slugged him, before your eyes met, no words actually stated, but the meaning and importance was obvious. Both of you were thinking about the 'could have been', but instead of staying there, Jungkook made sure you knew…he meant it. He placed one hand against your cheek and the other on the back of your neck, pulling you close, and kissing you again. This time, he didn't stop, he didn't pull away, he didn't take it back. With that kiss, he let you know, you were everything.
