LET US BE US
epilogue
“Well, mama, they have to come home at some point,” you laughed, talking to your mom trying to arrange picking up your three daughters. “Baby, they are eating dinner, then we were going to watch a movie, how ‘bout we just bring them home after breakfast, ok…” her voice seeming rushed. She is just trying to rush me off of this phone, you thought, smiling.
You shook your head, rolling your eyes with a grin on your face, mouthing to Jimin “my mom”. He laughed, knowing exactly what you were talking about.
He stood in the kitchen, making dinner for the two of you, before the girls were supposed to be home. He shrugged with a horny look on his face, making the two fingers sign pointing to his eyes then at yours, meaning ‘me and you’ signaling more alone time…in the bedroom. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at him, mouthing “always dirty with you…” He shrugged with a smirk on his face.
“Mom, ok, but for real they have to come home tomorrow, we want to see them too,” you gave in, thinking about how very pregnant you were and how little time alone you and Jimin had remaining. After stirring what was on the stove, he moved over to wrap you in a back hug, whispering in your ear, “…me and you, baby, I want you to myself a little longer.” You looked back at him and smiled, sharing a kiss before you returned to your mom. “Of course, of course…” she started, “…ok grandbabies, say bye bye to mommy and daddy.” The girls yelled out, “bye momma, bye daddy,” and you just smiled and leaned back into Jimin’s chest. “Bye, babies, see you tomorrow ok…love you,” you smiled and held the phone to Jimin’s mouth, “Bye bye loves, be good for grandma and grandpa, ok. Daddy loves you…see you tomorrow!” “Ok, baby, well we better get back to our dinner, see you tomorrow,” she started and you heard your dad call out in the background, “bye babygirl, I promise I will make her take them home tomorrow.”
You hung up and turned around to fall into kisses with your husband. “Mmm…” he moaned through your kisses, “I’m so happy.” “Yeah, I know you are…dirty,” you teased. “Well, it’s kinda your fault because you are so sexy, glowing, beautifully pregnant…are you still ok that we decided to keep this one a surprise?” he asked. With the three girls, you had to know especially when he was waiting for a boy to even out the family ratio. But this one, the fourth and final one, you had decided to find out when you gave birth. “Yeah, I will seriously be happy either way. The girls are split, Dasom definitely wants a brother, she is done with having sisters,” you giggled, thinking back to when you told them they would be getting a new sibling.
--
“Oh gosh, I hope it’s a brother this time…” Dasom placed her hand on her head, shaking it in exhaustion, “…I already have too many sisters.” You all laughed, and you ran your hand over her hair, letting her know that you would definitely try. “What about you girls?” Jimin asked as he held them in his lap on the couch. “Sister, sister…” Aera screamed out and Eunae, who always wanted what Aera wanted, did the same. Dasom shook her head, “kids, am I right?” You and Jimin laughed out loud at her sarcasm and humor, she was definitely your daughter.
--
“Baby. Baby, Jimin…hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo, Jimin…it’s time, it’s time,” you shook Jimin out of a deep, post sex sleep, which was the hardest to wake him from. “Huh? What, what’s happening? What…” he sat up, immediately reacting in chaos. “It’s ok, Jimin, breathe, breathe…we’ve done this a few times before, we got this,” you reassured him. “Ok, ok…I’ll get the bags. And I’ll call our parents,” he was effectively back to being your dependable, together, supportive husband. As you watched him rush out of your bedroom, without you, you giggled wondering how long it would take him to realize that he did not have you in tow. “I’m sorry, sorry…oh gosh, baby, ok. I got you,” he ran in a few minutes later, embarrassed, still chaos. You giggled, “I know you do, baby.”
--
“Push, baby, push…just a little longer…” he encouraged you, you could tell he was a bit worried. It didn’t take this long any of the other times, you thought to yourself. You were scared out of your mind, thinking that the last one would be the easiest, you hadn’t even considered it would be harder. “Ok, mama, we are going to do one more round of pushes,” the doctor called out. You could hear the nurses talking about prepping for surgery, just in case. What was happening? You just looked at Jimin and he was doing everything he could to hold it together.
“Ok, push, push, push…” the doctor called out, your hand was warm and sweaty from Jimin’s hand. His smile accompanied his encouraging words. “Nope, ok plan B…let’s get the OR on, let them know we are on our way,” the doctor focused on the task at hand, but his lack of explanation was killing you and Jimin. “What’s going on? What are you doing?” Jimin asked, you could see a worried look on his face, you reached for his hand trying to calm him. “Mr. Park, we are going to have to get your wife to surgery for a C-section. Not to worry, she and the baby are just fine, but time is of the essence, the nurses will get you set and you can join us as soon as we have her prepped ok,” he started to move out of the delivery room and the nurses started to unlock your bed and wheel you out. “Wait, I need to be with her…baby, I’ll be right there ok, you got this, it’s going to be fine,” he reassured you, hoping he would also be reassuring himself. “Baby…wait, I need my husband,” you started to panic, uncharacteristically.
--
He stared at you, waiting for you to wake up. His eyes were still red from stress and crying. The first thing you heard was the coo’s and you were immediately relaxed. “Yes, you are, the cutest little girl in the whole world. Don’t worry, mama is just a little tired, but she will be up soon and then you’ll get to meet her. And I have a secret to tell you, something to keep between me and you, ok…so don’t tell mama…you promise?” he spoke in his ‘new baby’ voice, as he smiled at her little hand holding tight to his finger, the place she would always hold. “So, the secret is, your mama is the absolute coolest mom in the whole world. You got so lucky. She is funny and silly, she is always making your sisters laugh. And she is so beautiful, you are going to love her, she is going to be so happy to hold you. Just a little longer, sweet girl,” he held her up to his lips, giving her a multitude of kisses. Your heart was warm.
“Hey, baby…” you whispered, still feeling weak from the hours of labor and then recovering from surgery. “Oh baby, oh my God, baby…I love you so much…are you ok? It’s a girl, we have another baby girl…” his worries were evident in the speed of his words. “Awww…let me hold her, oh my gosh…you’re still the only one baby…” you giggled as he handed the baby to you. He nodded and smiled, already having accepted that he would always be outnumbered. “Oh, my goodness, sweet baby girl, look at you…you gave us all a scare, huh? We are going to have to watch for you…especially daddy, look at these eyes, baby…” you cooed, instantly enamored with your new baby.
Jimin bent down and softly ran his hand over her full head of hair, “beautiful, just like her mommy and her sisters…” He kissed you, “I love you,” and held his head against your forehead. You both closed your eyes, took a slow deep breath and released a relieved sigh. “I love you,” your voice soft, you felt a rush of emotions racing to pour out. You opened your eyes, ready to break down, but then you caught the look in his eyes. Your best friend, the love of your life, your constant, your everything, your forever, your meant to be…and all the worries and fears disappeared. His smile, the reassuring look in his eyes, there he was…once again, everything you needed.
“Have you told her what her name is yet?” you asked, as your gaze shifted back to your baby. “No, I wanted to wait for you,” he smiled, looking almost embarrassed. “You are so adorable…I love you,” you reached your hand up to touch his cheek. He pushed into your hand…he needed your comfort as well. “So, shall we tell her now?” you asked, excitedly. “Yes. So, beautiful girl…I told you about your sisters remember, well you have three big sisters. Your sister’s names are Dasom, Aera, and Eunae and they all have something very special in common, right mama?” he spoke with a voice reserved for the times with just you and the girls. “Yup, all of their names mean love, because they were created with the special and amazing love between me and your daddy. So, we thought since you too were created in the same love…that you too are also part of our ‘loves’, welcome to the world Sarang, our sweet girl!” you completed the explanation and accepted another kiss from Jimin, who wiped the tears from your eyes and his.
“I love you, baby,” he brought your hand to his lips, kissing you as he stared into the soul, he shared with you. “I love you, Jimin,” you responded. You both smiled at each other, then closed your eyes, thanking the universe again for the life the two of you were chosen to live.
Meant to be, in love, with your four ‘loves’…for eternity.
You shook your head, rolling your eyes with a grin on your face, mouthing to Jimin “my mom”. He laughed, knowing exactly what you were talking about.
He stood in the kitchen, making dinner for the two of you, before the girls were supposed to be home. He shrugged with a horny look on his face, making the two fingers sign pointing to his eyes then at yours, meaning ‘me and you’ signaling more alone time…in the bedroom. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head at him, mouthing “always dirty with you…” He shrugged with a smirk on his face.
“Mom, ok, but for real they have to come home tomorrow, we want to see them too,” you gave in, thinking about how very pregnant you were and how little time alone you and Jimin had remaining. After stirring what was on the stove, he moved over to wrap you in a back hug, whispering in your ear, “…me and you, baby, I want you to myself a little longer.” You looked back at him and smiled, sharing a kiss before you returned to your mom. “Of course, of course…” she started, “…ok grandbabies, say bye bye to mommy and daddy.” The girls yelled out, “bye momma, bye daddy,” and you just smiled and leaned back into Jimin’s chest. “Bye, babies, see you tomorrow ok…love you,” you smiled and held the phone to Jimin’s mouth, “Bye bye loves, be good for grandma and grandpa, ok. Daddy loves you…see you tomorrow!” “Ok, baby, well we better get back to our dinner, see you tomorrow,” she started and you heard your dad call out in the background, “bye babygirl, I promise I will make her take them home tomorrow.”
You hung up and turned around to fall into kisses with your husband. “Mmm…” he moaned through your kisses, “I’m so happy.” “Yeah, I know you are…dirty,” you teased. “Well, it’s kinda your fault because you are so sexy, glowing, beautifully pregnant…are you still ok that we decided to keep this one a surprise?” he asked. With the three girls, you had to know especially when he was waiting for a boy to even out the family ratio. But this one, the fourth and final one, you had decided to find out when you gave birth. “Yeah, I will seriously be happy either way. The girls are split, Dasom definitely wants a brother, she is done with having sisters,” you giggled, thinking back to when you told them they would be getting a new sibling.
--
“Oh gosh, I hope it’s a brother this time…” Dasom placed her hand on her head, shaking it in exhaustion, “…I already have too many sisters.” You all laughed, and you ran your hand over her hair, letting her know that you would definitely try. “What about you girls?” Jimin asked as he held them in his lap on the couch. “Sister, sister…” Aera screamed out and Eunae, who always wanted what Aera wanted, did the same. Dasom shook her head, “kids, am I right?” You and Jimin laughed out loud at her sarcasm and humor, she was definitely your daughter.
--
“Baby. Baby, Jimin…hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo, Jimin…it’s time, it’s time,” you shook Jimin out of a deep, post sex sleep, which was the hardest to wake him from. “Huh? What, what’s happening? What…” he sat up, immediately reacting in chaos. “It’s ok, Jimin, breathe, breathe…we’ve done this a few times before, we got this,” you reassured him. “Ok, ok…I’ll get the bags. And I’ll call our parents,” he was effectively back to being your dependable, together, supportive husband. As you watched him rush out of your bedroom, without you, you giggled wondering how long it would take him to realize that he did not have you in tow. “I’m sorry, sorry…oh gosh, baby, ok. I got you,” he ran in a few minutes later, embarrassed, still chaos. You giggled, “I know you do, baby.”
--
“Push, baby, push…just a little longer…” he encouraged you, you could tell he was a bit worried. It didn’t take this long any of the other times, you thought to yourself. You were scared out of your mind, thinking that the last one would be the easiest, you hadn’t even considered it would be harder. “Ok, mama, we are going to do one more round of pushes,” the doctor called out. You could hear the nurses talking about prepping for surgery, just in case. What was happening? You just looked at Jimin and he was doing everything he could to hold it together.
“Ok, push, push, push…” the doctor called out, your hand was warm and sweaty from Jimin’s hand. His smile accompanied his encouraging words. “Nope, ok plan B…let’s get the OR on, let them know we are on our way,” the doctor focused on the task at hand, but his lack of explanation was killing you and Jimin. “What’s going on? What are you doing?” Jimin asked, you could see a worried look on his face, you reached for his hand trying to calm him. “Mr. Park, we are going to have to get your wife to surgery for a C-section. Not to worry, she and the baby are just fine, but time is of the essence, the nurses will get you set and you can join us as soon as we have her prepped ok,” he started to move out of the delivery room and the nurses started to unlock your bed and wheel you out. “Wait, I need to be with her…baby, I’ll be right there ok, you got this, it’s going to be fine,” he reassured you, hoping he would also be reassuring himself. “Baby…wait, I need my husband,” you started to panic, uncharacteristically.
--
He stared at you, waiting for you to wake up. His eyes were still red from stress and crying. The first thing you heard was the coo’s and you were immediately relaxed. “Yes, you are, the cutest little girl in the whole world. Don’t worry, mama is just a little tired, but she will be up soon and then you’ll get to meet her. And I have a secret to tell you, something to keep between me and you, ok…so don’t tell mama…you promise?” he spoke in his ‘new baby’ voice, as he smiled at her little hand holding tight to his finger, the place she would always hold. “So, the secret is, your mama is the absolute coolest mom in the whole world. You got so lucky. She is funny and silly, she is always making your sisters laugh. And she is so beautiful, you are going to love her, she is going to be so happy to hold you. Just a little longer, sweet girl,” he held her up to his lips, giving her a multitude of kisses. Your heart was warm.
“Hey, baby…” you whispered, still feeling weak from the hours of labor and then recovering from surgery. “Oh baby, oh my God, baby…I love you so much…are you ok? It’s a girl, we have another baby girl…” his worries were evident in the speed of his words. “Awww…let me hold her, oh my gosh…you’re still the only one baby…” you giggled as he handed the baby to you. He nodded and smiled, already having accepted that he would always be outnumbered. “Oh, my goodness, sweet baby girl, look at you…you gave us all a scare, huh? We are going to have to watch for you…especially daddy, look at these eyes, baby…” you cooed, instantly enamored with your new baby.
Jimin bent down and softly ran his hand over her full head of hair, “beautiful, just like her mommy and her sisters…” He kissed you, “I love you,” and held his head against your forehead. You both closed your eyes, took a slow deep breath and released a relieved sigh. “I love you,” your voice soft, you felt a rush of emotions racing to pour out. You opened your eyes, ready to break down, but then you caught the look in his eyes. Your best friend, the love of your life, your constant, your everything, your forever, your meant to be…and all the worries and fears disappeared. His smile, the reassuring look in his eyes, there he was…once again, everything you needed.
“Have you told her what her name is yet?” you asked, as your gaze shifted back to your baby. “No, I wanted to wait for you,” he smiled, looking almost embarrassed. “You are so adorable…I love you,” you reached your hand up to touch his cheek. He pushed into your hand…he needed your comfort as well. “So, shall we tell her now?” you asked, excitedly. “Yes. So, beautiful girl…I told you about your sisters remember, well you have three big sisters. Your sister’s names are Dasom, Aera, and Eunae and they all have something very special in common, right mama?” he spoke with a voice reserved for the times with just you and the girls. “Yup, all of their names mean love, because they were created with the special and amazing love between me and your daddy. So, we thought since you too were created in the same love…that you too are also part of our ‘loves’, welcome to the world Sarang, our sweet girl!” you completed the explanation and accepted another kiss from Jimin, who wiped the tears from your eyes and his.
“I love you, baby,” he brought your hand to his lips, kissing you as he stared into the soul, he shared with you. “I love you, Jimin,” you responded. You both smiled at each other, then closed your eyes, thanking the universe again for the life the two of you were chosen to live.
Meant to be, in love, with your four ‘loves’…for eternity.
