prologue
Word Count: 1.1k | cw//negative self-talk, low self-esteem
“Get it together, Chanel. Pull it together. It’s gonna be fine. Everyone will be super nice and they’ll get you…” you gave yourself the once over, then again, and again…nervous for your first day of your internship at the most popular publishing company in Seoul. “...except, no one will talk to me once they get to know me. God I wish I could just be normal, like everyone else.” You were the best at tearing yourself down as quickly as you tried to build your confidence. “Hi, I’m Chanel, nice to meet you. Hello, Chanel and you? Chanel is my name…please don’t think I’m lame,” you shook your head and decided you were as ready as you were going to be, “...I mean, honestly…all this practice won’t even matter.”
--
“Hi, you must be the new intern, nice to meet you,” the man who greeted your ‘deer in the headlights’ look as you arrived to the 16th floor of the enormous building, was wearing possibly the biggest smile you’d ever seen on a person, “my name is Hoseok, but my friends call me Hope, nice to meet you.” “Hi,” you barely made eye contact, you cursed at yourself inwardly, sheepishly shaking his hand, “I’m Chanel.” “Awww, Chanel,” he smiled, obviously trying to make you feel welcome, “like no.5, C-h-a-n-e-l, Chanel?” “Ummm, yeah, my parents thought that naming me something fabulous would make me the same,” you tried hard to look him in the eyes, but you looked down again, reminding yourself of the effort you’d put into your outfit that morning, “but jokes on them because…” You waved your hands across your outfit, your complete shame in your lack of fashion sense burying you in self-doubt. Hoseok giggled, albeit nervously, and patted your arm, “oh girl, off trend is the new trendy, you’re cute.” You blushed and fell in love with him immediately.
Falling in love…something you thought about daily, but still had yet to experience outside of your own delusional thoughts about your celebrity boyfriends or your constant slew of crushes. You instantly began to daydream about your happy life with Hoseok, until he brought you back to reality, “did you get all of that?” “Ummm,” you shook your head nervously, a grimace taking over your face. He laughed, “don’t worry, I’ll explain it again later.” Your cheeks were hot, feeling embarrassed, but when did you not feel embarrassed? It was like you were in a constant state of shame, blushing was just one of your personalities.
"So this is the intern office," Hoseok continued his tour of your new workplace with his gorgeous smile, "you will essentially be in here until someone needs you...so you'll never be in here." "Oh my god, really?" You asked, wondering how many coffee orders you were going to have to memorize, your eyes widening when you looked back on the endless rows of cubicles. Hoseok laughed, patting your back, "don't worry, Chanel, you're not gonna be alone...there are a few more interns starting this week." Your stomach turned and you blurted out what you were thinking, "great, more competition." You covered your mouth when you heard your voice hit your ear...embarrassed again. "For what?" Hoseok asked, he was nothing if not the biggest gossip in the office. His interest had been peaked with your unlikely comment, his read of you as a sweet innocent girl instantly adjusting.
"Umm, well, like…ah, so," you stammered, you always stammered, you searched for the right words to explain yourself. But, you were at a loss. Hoseok laughed, placing his hand on your shoulder, "you are quite the interesting little lady, huh?" You shrugged with a grin on your face, "I'll definitely grow on you if you let me." "Yeah," Hoseok nodded in agreement, "I can definitely see that, Chaneley." "Huh? What did you call me…" your face scrunched up, worried. "Oh, I have a nickname for everyone, you're gonna be Chaneley to me...is that ok?" He asked, never having been asked about his cute habits before. "Oh, no, that's fine...no one has ever given me a nickname before," you looked down shyly, embarrassed by how in love with Hoseok you'd become...you knew you would be repeating his nickname for you in your head when you fell asleep that night. "Awww, for real? Well, then I'm honored to have marked you with it," he giggled, "I like you Chaneley, I think we're really going to be best friends." Your heart sank, friend zoned...again.
-
The rest of the day was uneventful, you'd already made your shit list and you found a few more crushes...and even though you were disappointed about so quickly being only Hoseok’s friend, he remained as incredible as he'd been during the tour. You walked out with his arm around your shoulder and an overly dramatic voice, "Chaneley, what am I going to do without you?" "What do you mean?" You asked confused, "what do you need?" "Oh my goodness, Chaneley, you are way too adorable," Hoseok teased playfully, not realizing you were serious. You smiled, nodding your head, something you'd learned to do when your awkwardness rendered you lost. "Ok, sweetie, I'll see you tomorrow," Hoseok waved to you as he ran off with what you figured was a group of his friends. You waved, walking to your car, thinking again about how yours and Hoseok's children would look like. Back in your head, back where things were safe, and you were understood.
--
"Ok, Chaneley," Hoseok sat on your desk, facing you, close to work ending on Friday, "I'm going to ask you something, but you can't say no, ok." Your eyes widened, "umm, I don't think I can do that, Hope." "Yes, you can. You're coming out with me tonight. We need to celebrate making it through your first week and my friend's house is the perfect place to do it. They are throwing a big party and we are going," he stated matter of factly. "Ummm, no," you stated, shaking your head. "Sorry, you can't say no," he giggled, hopping off of your desk and walking away. "Umm, Hope, what...I can say no, if I want to. Hey, no, don't walk away. I'm not going...with strangers," your voice trailed off, when you looked at the other interns, who were staring at you...then sat down, face on fire again.
--
"No, seriously, I can't believe you talked me into this. I don't do strangers," you spoke, causing Hoseok to laugh out loud, and you threw your hands in the air confused, "what...why are you laughing?" "Don't worry, Chaneley, you won't have to 'do' anyone you don't want to," he teased, bringing forth the double entendre of your statement. "Oh, my god," you covered your face, shaking your head, "no, that's not what I was saying...oh my god, no, no, no." "It's ok sweetie, no judgement from me. Do whoever you want...you're single right, you can do what you want," he placed his arm around your shoulders and walked you into the party that would change your life forever.
--
“Hi, you must be the new intern, nice to meet you,” the man who greeted your ‘deer in the headlights’ look as you arrived to the 16th floor of the enormous building, was wearing possibly the biggest smile you’d ever seen on a person, “my name is Hoseok, but my friends call me Hope, nice to meet you.” “Hi,” you barely made eye contact, you cursed at yourself inwardly, sheepishly shaking his hand, “I’m Chanel.” “Awww, Chanel,” he smiled, obviously trying to make you feel welcome, “like no.5, C-h-a-n-e-l, Chanel?” “Ummm, yeah, my parents thought that naming me something fabulous would make me the same,” you tried hard to look him in the eyes, but you looked down again, reminding yourself of the effort you’d put into your outfit that morning, “but jokes on them because…” You waved your hands across your outfit, your complete shame in your lack of fashion sense burying you in self-doubt. Hoseok giggled, albeit nervously, and patted your arm, “oh girl, off trend is the new trendy, you’re cute.” You blushed and fell in love with him immediately.
Falling in love…something you thought about daily, but still had yet to experience outside of your own delusional thoughts about your celebrity boyfriends or your constant slew of crushes. You instantly began to daydream about your happy life with Hoseok, until he brought you back to reality, “did you get all of that?” “Ummm,” you shook your head nervously, a grimace taking over your face. He laughed, “don’t worry, I’ll explain it again later.” Your cheeks were hot, feeling embarrassed, but when did you not feel embarrassed? It was like you were in a constant state of shame, blushing was just one of your personalities.
"So this is the intern office," Hoseok continued his tour of your new workplace with his gorgeous smile, "you will essentially be in here until someone needs you...so you'll never be in here." "Oh my god, really?" You asked, wondering how many coffee orders you were going to have to memorize, your eyes widening when you looked back on the endless rows of cubicles. Hoseok laughed, patting your back, "don't worry, Chanel, you're not gonna be alone...there are a few more interns starting this week." Your stomach turned and you blurted out what you were thinking, "great, more competition." You covered your mouth when you heard your voice hit your ear...embarrassed again. "For what?" Hoseok asked, he was nothing if not the biggest gossip in the office. His interest had been peaked with your unlikely comment, his read of you as a sweet innocent girl instantly adjusting.
"Umm, well, like…ah, so," you stammered, you always stammered, you searched for the right words to explain yourself. But, you were at a loss. Hoseok laughed, placing his hand on your shoulder, "you are quite the interesting little lady, huh?" You shrugged with a grin on your face, "I'll definitely grow on you if you let me." "Yeah," Hoseok nodded in agreement, "I can definitely see that, Chaneley." "Huh? What did you call me…" your face scrunched up, worried. "Oh, I have a nickname for everyone, you're gonna be Chaneley to me...is that ok?" He asked, never having been asked about his cute habits before. "Oh, no, that's fine...no one has ever given me a nickname before," you looked down shyly, embarrassed by how in love with Hoseok you'd become...you knew you would be repeating his nickname for you in your head when you fell asleep that night. "Awww, for real? Well, then I'm honored to have marked you with it," he giggled, "I like you Chaneley, I think we're really going to be best friends." Your heart sank, friend zoned...again.
-
The rest of the day was uneventful, you'd already made your shit list and you found a few more crushes...and even though you were disappointed about so quickly being only Hoseok’s friend, he remained as incredible as he'd been during the tour. You walked out with his arm around your shoulder and an overly dramatic voice, "Chaneley, what am I going to do without you?" "What do you mean?" You asked confused, "what do you need?" "Oh my goodness, Chaneley, you are way too adorable," Hoseok teased playfully, not realizing you were serious. You smiled, nodding your head, something you'd learned to do when your awkwardness rendered you lost. "Ok, sweetie, I'll see you tomorrow," Hoseok waved to you as he ran off with what you figured was a group of his friends. You waved, walking to your car, thinking again about how yours and Hoseok's children would look like. Back in your head, back where things were safe, and you were understood.
--
"Ok, Chaneley," Hoseok sat on your desk, facing you, close to work ending on Friday, "I'm going to ask you something, but you can't say no, ok." Your eyes widened, "umm, I don't think I can do that, Hope." "Yes, you can. You're coming out with me tonight. We need to celebrate making it through your first week and my friend's house is the perfect place to do it. They are throwing a big party and we are going," he stated matter of factly. "Ummm, no," you stated, shaking your head. "Sorry, you can't say no," he giggled, hopping off of your desk and walking away. "Umm, Hope, what...I can say no, if I want to. Hey, no, don't walk away. I'm not going...with strangers," your voice trailed off, when you looked at the other interns, who were staring at you...then sat down, face on fire again.
--
"No, seriously, I can't believe you talked me into this. I don't do strangers," you spoke, causing Hoseok to laugh out loud, and you threw your hands in the air confused, "what...why are you laughing?" "Don't worry, Chaneley, you won't have to 'do' anyone you don't want to," he teased, bringing forth the double entendre of your statement. "Oh, my god," you covered your face, shaking your head, "no, that's not what I was saying...oh my god, no, no, no." "It's ok sweetie, no judgement from me. Do whoever you want...you're single right, you can do what you want," he placed his arm around your shoulders and walked you into the party that would change your life forever.
